Of Mauve and Mango

Of Mauve and Mango

Postby Kargarok » Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:08 am

“Quiet them tukata down, Maude! They're squalin' like they ain't et in weeks.” Tukata farming was tough work, but someone had to feed the Empire and Jessum took pride in it. All of the simple Glastos folk did, but some days, just some days, he wished he were force sensitive so he could crush those whining buggers with rocks, or lightning. Lightning would be better then they wouldn't go to waste. “MAUDE! My heads a pounding enough as it is! What is they're problem?”

“It ain't the tukata, Jess! It's a baby!” The middle aged women knelt down in the mud of the tukata pen and picked up the little orange ball of horns and limbs. “Oh Jess, she's so pretty!”

“Ug! Another one? Do we look like a monastery now?”

“Well we are the closest farm to the Glaston Shrine,” Maude shrugged, “Either that or they were hoping these boars would eat the poor little thing.”

“Hey now there's an idea! Might save on some feed...”

“JESSUM TUKE! We can't do that, and you know it.”

“Well we could and besides I already said we could keep the pink one,” Maude's glare quelled the poor farmer and any ideas of offering up his farm for unwanted babyfeed. “Alright, alright fine! How do you propose we raise this one?” He still felt horrible that their own child had been stillborn, and was almost grateful for the distraction that the first zabrak had been but two, Oi! How were these things getting on his farm anyhow?

“His. Name. Is. Mauve. And this pretty little thing is,” she caressed the baby's orange cheek, “Mango. Besides he's almost weened anyhow I should still have plenty left for this one. And look at her hands, whoa!” The hands were oversized, and looked almost comical on something so small. The grasping things where now grabbing for boob as hungry babies were want to do. “There you go precious. With hands like these you just know she'll grow up big and strong. They both will! They will help with the farm in a few years, you'll see.”

******************

“They ain't pets, Mango!”

“Aw! But pa, they're so cyute! Do we have to eat 'em?”

“Yes. Now come over here and help me heard them, they listen to you better'n me.”

“Okay.” She spent the rest of the day helping with the slaughter which was not as unpleasant as it might seem. Cute as they were tukata do taste good. She was only 8 and already as tall as her human father, and almost as strong. How such a slight man managed to raise such beasts was always curious.

“Well that's done, good work, Mango. You can have the first pick of the jerky this year.”

“Hooray!”

“And tell that slacker brother of yours that he can have a beating for running off on slaughter day.”

That was odd, he usually enjoyed slaughter day, Mango hoped he was alright but she hadn't seen Mauve all day. She hoped he was alright. “He's not my brother, pa! You said we was 'dopted.”

“He's close enough! Now you tell him. He's snuck off too many times lately and it's time he get his. I'm heading back to the house; You don't harass tha rest o' tha herd. They're frightened enough as it is.”

“I'm pretty?”

“Yes, you are.” Jessum knew he couldn't drag his little girl away from the beasts so he ruffled her hair and left. She had done good so she earned it. He brought his hand to his mouth and nursed the tiny puncture mark in his palm. She really was growing up.

Shortly after, “Psst, Mango!”

“Huh?” Mango looked around confused. “Is that you Ol' Bitey?” She addressed the hoary old boar they kept for stud as she skipped over to it. She happily announced, “I'm pretty! And so are you!”

“Mango up here!” Mauve swung down out of the rafters to land on the back of the poor creature. It merely grunted and went back to eating.

“Eee! It's you! You're pretty! Yay! Oh, wait, Pa, wanted to give you something.” Mango's brow furrowed in concentration. “What was it?”

Mauve's face went petulant, “He's not our, Pa, but nevermind, I wanted to give you this.” Grinning, he pulled a mottled egg out of the rucksack he had tossed over his shirtless back. “It's a veractyl's!”

“OooooOOOoooo! Can I keep it?”

“Uh huh. I think you just need to sit on it to keep it warm or something. I wanted to show you something else too!”

“Mauve! I've already seen that like a million times. We take baths together remember?”

“No not that! This!” He hopped straight out of the pen from the boar's back and knelt down. “Watch this rock.” He put his hand out, and beads of sweat started dripping down his brow, then the rock moved.

Mango squealed with delight. “That was so pretty! How did you do that?”

Mauve's tiny chest puffed out with pride and his grin covered his entire face. “Like this!” This time it was a little easier.

“Oooh! Let me try!”

“You can't do it! You're too stupid.”

“Am not!” Mango stomped her foot and put her hand out, staring hard at the rock. Mauve started laughing when it did not move. She tried again harder this time still nothing. Mauve had fallen to the ground in his convulsions of mirth. Mango was almost starting to get angry, Mauve could be so mean sometimes. She tried once more but the rock didn't move, instead lightning shot out of her fingertips missing the rock completely and hitting her adopted brother. Her eyes went wide. “Omygesh!”

“Whoah hohoho!” Mauve stood up slightly singed and his hair standing up at all angles, more so than usual. “That felt awesome! Told you you couldn't do it though.” He grinned as Mango punched him in the stomach. “Come on, let's go play medical droid.”

“Okay!” Mango skipped off after him completely forgetting the veractyl egg on the floor of the barn.
"I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar." - Hoban "Wash" Washburn

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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby Britney9 » Sun Oct 07, 2012 12:34 pm

You completed some good points on http://www.laughinglion.org . I did a search on the theme and found the majority of persons will have the same opinion with your phorum. Best regards! with love, joyful escortes Paris
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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby XLCS » Mon Oct 08, 2012 1:25 pm

LOL

Yea, sign me up for 3 escorts in Paris... blond, brunette, red-head. Mix & match tall, leggy and curvaceous. Tell them to bring toys.

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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby earthwulf » Mon Oct 08, 2012 3:56 pm

oh holy shit, this is too funny
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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby Hellion » Tue Oct 09, 2012 6:35 am

I Dont understand .....
The Cow says "moo"
The Chicken says "cluck"
The Hellion says "*@&#%&"
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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby Stash » Tue Oct 09, 2012 9:57 am

It's a bot. I've killed about 8 of these already, missed this one. I'm not sure how they are getting through, I havent approved anyone and the bot names are easy to tell.

Killing the link.

On a side note. Every one of them have hit the Mauve and Mango post. Boy is it popular with the bot community. Karg I think you found your Reader nitch.


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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby earthwulf » Tue Oct 09, 2012 10:38 pm

And this is why it's funny
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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby AshburnerX » Wed Oct 10, 2012 2:30 pm

If The Dish had a story, they'd be hittin' on him instead. Awww right...

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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby Kargarok » Thu Oct 11, 2012 5:10 pm

Sorry must have been one of the strays Mango "adopted".
"I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar." - Hoban "Wash" Washburn

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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby Emmitt.5 » Sun Oct 14, 2012 9:56 am

Должен сказать, я впечатлен. Действительно, не часто я сталкиваюсь с такими сайтами как www.laughinglion.org
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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby Rhen » Sun Oct 14, 2012 3:47 pm

in soviet russia, mauve eats mango
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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby earthwulf » Sun Oct 14, 2012 9:27 pm

Let's see if I can translate:
"A donkey cake-tablespoon, or bananas. Inebriated, he tacos or crank-the-balls with talk-mining cantina cock"
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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby Stash » Mon Oct 15, 2012 6:47 am

I'm personaly at an impass. I'm not sure if I should be worried that Russia had "Bots" or not.

Release the "Regan Bot!"


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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby Kargarok » Tue Oct 16, 2012 1:01 pm

Rhen wrote:in soviet russia, mauve eats mango



Um... obvious comment unsaid.
"I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar." - Hoban "Wash" Washburn

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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby Danita08 » Mon Oct 29, 2012 5:50 pm

This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free. I enjoy seeing websites that understand the value of providing a prime resource for free. I truly loved reading your posts on www.laughinglion.org . Thanks! regards
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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby Stash » Mon Oct 29, 2012 6:32 pm

<sigh>

I can't figure out how they are getting in......


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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby earthwulf » Mon Oct 29, 2012 8:26 pm

Cause they know I give it away for free.
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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby Hellion » Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:37 am

Bow chicka wa wa !!

Incidentally I found a Regan bot

The Cow says "moo"
The Chicken says "cluck"
The Hellion says "*@&#%&"
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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby j99450 » Tue Oct 30, 2012 6:20 am

Maybe its time to reapply the bot-screen?


A moogle on heaven in FFXIV wrote:unspeakably beutiful, unimaginably spacious, and with a literally endless supply of wine.
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Re: Of Mauve and Mango

Postby Stash » Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:36 am

The bot screen is up, and getting about 20-30 hits a day.


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